Stepping Stones: A Writer's Ramble

Usually, this is the page where I conduct my interviews with fellow writers/authors, but I wanted to take this time to address something. This post would be typically reserved for my social commentary page, Speaking My Mind, but since this is pertaining to my profession, it's fitting to post it here. Every writer goes through or has been through it; as a matter of fact, everyone who has ventured to do anything has been through or is dealing with this.

In August, I considered doing a blog and a podcast on this subject, but was content with just a podcast. However, past and particularly recent events have sparked me to write a blog on this topic as well. This video was also part of my inspiration me to write this.

Picking up from my August 26th podcast entitled "Stepping Stones," where I discussed that when you aspire to achieve something, know that everyone is not going to be in your corner, everyone is not going to support you. I talked about how when I wrote my first book Taylor Made and had a library branch manager in Lake Charles-- where I was living at the time-- read it, she pretty much downed it, saying that the language in the book "was plain," going on to say that the authors she normally read from the language is "more exquisite," whatever the hell that means.

Now, she's entitled to her opinion, but there's a difference between giving an honest and fair critique, and being a prick. However, despite her nay saying, judging from the reviews I received from others, they didn't seem to think so. This individual was someone I didn't know, and honestly, that's to be expected from them, but I've noticed throughout this process that your biggest detractors tends to be the ones closest to you.

For example, a couple of months of ago, I had a conversation with someone who would be considered to be a close friend. She basically implied that I should try something else, and proceeded to suggest that I look into something "with a skill." Seriously? I had to remind her that what I do is a skill. Try telling Terry McMillan or J.K. Rowling that writing isn't a skill. Last time I checked, before How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Waiting to Exhale, and Rowling's Harry Potter series were major motion pictures, they were BOOKS FIRST! A couple of weeks ago, someone who would barely say two words to me, suddenly had a similar suggestion which was just as subliminal, but not as insulting.

It seems to me that when you aspire to accomplish something, if it's something that may not be particularly steady (i.e. "safe") something that may take a longer time to be successful in, and there's no results in 30 minutes, then there's this suggestion-- directly or subliminally-- that maybe you should try something else. Maybe you should get the hell out of my face, how about that?

Then, I had someone imply that I'm lying when conduct my interviews. I was in a gray area with that one because I wasn't sure if that was meant to be a joke, a subtle jab, or what, but for whatever intent or purpose, it was a slap to the face. What do I have to lie about on these interviews? For what reason? Stating that I'm a best-selling or award winning author when I'm not at this time-- although I'm pushing for that type of success or better-- would be a lie, but everything I state in my interview is accurate.

I'm tired of people who either don't understand or don't respect what I do, attempt to undermine or piss on what I'm doing. I realize that criticism and detractors come within territory, but I'm tired of taking the high road all the time.

As for the other half of the title of this blog-- now that my rant is over-- it can be very difficult not to take such things personally, but if you do, use them as stepping stones, don't let it manifest into personal hatred. Use it to remain focused and increase your drive to accomplish your goal(s) even more. Remember, success is the best revenge.

Speaking of using people as a stepping stone, I have a special place for the library manager heifer in an upcoming book. As a matter of fact, it takes place mostly in a library, that's part of the reason why she came back to mind. Of course, I won't say what role exactly, but I have a character specially made for her. *Smirk*

Finally, I ask that my readers and viewers be patient with me. Long story short, I've been sidetracked, writing book #5, still advertising and promoting my other books, among other things. I'm looking to get back on track with the interviews ASAP. I'll close with this: focus on the ones who do support you; unless it's for motivational purposes as stated a couple of paragraphs above, don't dwell on the detractors and nay sayers. Ultimately, be self-motivated; believe in yourself regardless if others believe in you or not.